CAMELOT FANTASIES

I can't believe the weekend is over even though I stayed home most of the time and chilled. Time still flies. I used to be big fan of 'Charmed' and of all the powers, I really liked Piper's freeze time ability. That's the one I wanted the most and I still crave for it. I wish there was 48 hours in a day.

Last night I went to bed around midnight and I am sure I fell asleep right away but then I woke up around 1:30am. I didn't have a bad dream or a nightmare or anything. I simply woke up but I was still slightly sleepy. However it didn't seem I was going to fall asleep any time soon, so I got bored and decided to listen to one of my favourite spiritual teachers' lecture. I was really enjoying listening to him as he was talking about how he became spiritual some 30 years ago. All was going fine until then...until he mentioned and I quote, 'I went back to work one day being very depressed and that's when it hit me, what I am doing here?' And then he said to the audience 'you know when you have that realization, you can pretty much kiss your career goodbye' and then he went to laugh a lot about it. But I got alarmed. And  now I am really awake.  Because just a year ago I had this thought at work and I wasn't able to get rid of it and it haunts me from time to time. Now I am really anxious completely wide awake thinking, 'what does that mean? I can't quit my job? It's not like I am sitting on a pile of money?'. I just drove myself nuts at 2:30am in the morning with all these questions. What a way to ruin a perfect goodnight sleep. lolol. I didn't feel so bad in the morning however but I know it's not going to stop it here. Oh well. Just this constant feeling as if I am meant to do something else. It scares me though since it means some vast change in life and I haven't got a clue.