CAMELOT FANTASIES

Hi Slasher, awesome post! Looks like you really know your stuff. There's a lot to discuss and take away from your post.

First of all, yes I do have the sleep order however, I feel now perhaps I should cut down my caffeine intake after 10am. Typically I don't drink coffee after 12noon but if I really crave for it, I go for decaf. Now I am thinking I should stop at 10am. I don't drink pops or any kind of energy drinks so I am covered in that sense. Alcohol is only occasional and most times, red wine but still, perhaps I need to get rid of it altogether. Never do drugs.

Now moving on to your second point, that is also covered but I may have to change it. Right now, my brother who is no more is my symbol but this is also causing me to wake up. For example. I dreamt just last week I was meditating and my eyes were closed and it was pitch dark. Then I saw something that seemed like a deep purple light taking a form and I was very interested to see what it was and was not afraid at all. When it was finally taking a full shape, my brother woke me up and said I was crying and screaming in my sleep so he had to wake me up. I thought 'okay, but I wasn't really crying or screaming in my dream so why is he saying that I was?" Then I felt there was something not right about it because as I continued to think about it, suddenly I realized he's no more so how could he wake me up. And that's when I really woke up. And there are other dreams like that, where the moment I realize he's no more, the moment wake up. I am just too emotionally attached to him so while it helps to wake up in my dream to have a lucid one, it also wakes me up here. So looks like I'll have to get another symbol where it won't shock my system so much.

I can definitely remember some of the dreams forever but there are some dreams I forget as soon as I wake up. The problem is, because I am a light sleeper I tend to remember that I was dreaming whole night in parts and I find it very hard to remember all of it. One other problem is to go back to sleep again after memorizing or repeating some of these dreams in my head. So this is something I do in the morning after I wake up. Whatever I can remember I put them into my memory bank for future reference. My dreams are quite vivid and detail and very different from each other, but other times, they can be pretty vague. Sometimes I can't remember if I dreamt something or if it happened in real life since they are so vivid and detail. And there are these times when I feel I am in trance state where nothing really touches me in my waking life, even though I can fully do my job and fully aware of my surroundings - just not as engaged. do you know what I mean? Does that happen to you?

I have a lot to take from No. 4. I don't think that is fully covered. Definitely need more awareness training. I don't think  I'll be comfortable doing example c. I am fairly sure I'll see something else so I will avoid it for now. Perhaps once I get more brave and comfortable. I liked example d. And a and b.

As to No. 5. I do have sleep paralysis. It happens spontaneously however but especially when I am stressed out. Last time I had it only two months ago. I do freak out a great deal though I am trying to be very brave about it lately and see what happens next. The last paralysis had this buzzing sound attached to it and I had a feeling I was about it go out of my body, but I could not go thru it, so I forced myself to wake up. Maybe next time, as you suggested, I can tell myself that I am really not awake but dreaming and force it to lucid. But the thing is, I feel I am really awake just unable to move my body and the fact that I unable to move my body really freaks me out and then I try hard to wake up and I do.

I'd love teleportation (I've been able to fly once) once I master it. I have many things to explore. Thanks Slasher. This has been a very good learning experience. For instance, I did not know much about awareness training.

I've had a couple of experiences at least ten years ago. Maybe you can shed some light on it as to what it was, when you get a chance but we can discuss it later. I kind of know but would be nice to get another perspective.