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My wife has gotten fat and now we have no love life. What to do? She doesn't seem interested in losing weight.
Tough question but the short answer is that she is your wife and supporting her with patience and acceptance is key to the relationship and your love life.
She is probably aware of the changes with her body and you have probably changed in ways as well. Change is inevitable and flexibility is required to adapt/adjust towards a healthy relationship.
If she’s not interested in losing weight, what is she interested in doing? Have you guys talked about the changes with your love life? If not, I would suggest doing so and setting mutual goals to improve it. Are you both eating healthy, talking care of yourselves as individuals and as a couple? Bodies will change and unfortunately it’s usually not for the better, so, if that is the foundation of the marriage then there may be bigger problems.
I hear your concern about the decline in your love life and I would say it is not all your wife’s weight causing the change. It may be a contributor but I’d suggest directing your attention at what’s going on in the relationship, not just with her body.
I've heard that after a couple has a child, which is notably one of the happiest times in anyone's life, that the satisfaction and overall happiness in the marriage can dramatically decrease. Is this true, and why is this? What can couples do to sustain their marital happiness after baby?
Having a child can be one of the most rewarding and gratifying life experiences for a couple, yet the dynamics of the relationship are bound to change. It’s only natural that they do and the couple must be flexible and adjust accordingly.
Satisfaction and overall happiness are contingent upon how the couple navigates the relational factors involved. So, no it is not true that a decline occurs after having a child but novel challenges can emerge.
Having a child presents a new developmental stage for individuals and the couple punctuating a time of change, which influences the structure and rules of any relationship.
When a child enters the picture all attention is typically placed on the child to assure they are cared for and nurtured. This is as it should be.
It can, however, detour focus from the health of the couple/marital unit and requires significant work with open dialogue about thoughts and feelings. There may be issues related to grief/loss of how it once was; one partner may feel left out, not knowing where they fit into the new equation. It is important to feel safe enough to address these feelings directly with each other in a caring and compassionate manner. Guilt can sometimes emerge if one begins to feel jealous of the child. All of this very normal and helpful to share.
Maintaining commitment to the couple/marital relationship is a necessary component not only to the health of the relationship but it is a key factor in the quality of life for the child. Therefore, a balance must be achieved to maintain intimacy and connection with your partner. Maintaining those traditions for closeness as a couple, such date nights, romancing and actively seeking “us time” are key ingredients for success.
Yes, the baby is important but just as the flight attendant says “put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and then your child” such is true with taking care of yourself and the relationship with your spouse.
My husband and I have been married for 13 years. He has a job that comes with plenty of stress. Recently his business has had some financial difficulties and aside from him not ever being home, he has started being very secretive. I have caught him subscribing to a **** Web site, confronted him and cleared that up. Now I have just found out that he is hiding the fact that he is smoking cigars. Fine, do it to relax. My question is, why be so secretive about things? I think it's fine to do things to help you relax, but why ****? If he wants to smoke a cigar, don't lie about it. He told me he did not purchase it, it was given to him, then I found out he did in fact make the purchase himself. Who cares, just why the lying?
How do I get my point across that I don't have a problem with this, just don't lie to me? He often lies about other things as well, nothing that means a darn, just stupid things. How do I change this??
Sounds like you are a very accommodating and understanding person, which may confuse you even more about his behavior. It may not be anything you are doing or not doing that results in his tendency to stray from the truth.
Lying is the identifiable behavior that is bothering you and it sounds like you noticed and related the behavior to his business and financial stressors, which you can always explore with him. Either way, the behavior must be confronted and addressed for the health of your relationship.
You may not be able to change his behavior, but you can be firm on what is unacceptable for you, what you expect him to work on and let him know how you can support him in dealing with this behavior that impacts the relationship. Trust is a key ingredient to successful marriages and it is hard to have trust without truth.
Maybe i ask you something 
Love! 
