CAMELOT FANTASIES

Heart is heavy with grief
Emotional surge floods at the strangest times
Cries are silent
Discovering an unusual imbalance
At times guilt for something I missed
Too wrapped up in my own mind
At others a relief knowing that
The pain of her broken heart has
Surely mended
For they are reunited
I'm definitely one of the lucky ones
I see their  guiding light
They visit my dreams in various forms
Feeling safe + secure enveloped
In their light so bright

Looking back at the days gone by
I realize it's not yet two months
Since my sweet Spartan Mom has passed
She was a warrior queen who shared her love
Of everyone
Welcomed all walks of life into her home
Spreading her love ensuring they were taken care of
Food, drink all the comforts
Mom + Dad were well suited
Always present to those who needed someone
When they hit rock bottom
Our homes as I was growing up
Filled to the rafters with all living beings
Enveloped in their warm love glow
Humans, dogs, birds, fish
For each and every one of them
Mom would create their special dish
Dad would build a safe haven

Sitting looking out of the window
Staring at the cherry tree they planted in the back yard
Smiling realizing all the human beings that entered
+ were provided a temporary new beginning
My parents provided from their hearts and souls
Their expectations of kindness in return

Dad would often say to me:
Everyone + their buddy will show up in good times
All disappear when at rock bottom
It's there when humans/ living beings
Feel lost + forlorn
Kindness was never weakness in our home
I realize it was a chance to
Make them stronger
Reborn

Reach up to touch my wet face
Understanding the tears streaming
Easing my heart with comfort in its place
Even as I'm crying
Equally I am smiling
Noting with my chosen parents
I am truly the lucky one
~Divine

Transformation happened in the flick of an eye
His amiable face now looked grotesque
Askew + twisted from the demons
That now assailed his body
Possessed + crazed in his maladjusted hate
Spewing dispicable words
Filled will detest + malice
Jealousy enraged as the green eyed monster
Suffocates any relatable good
That might once so long ago
Resided in his youthful body
Now after years of alcoholic + drug abuse
He is but a shadow of the kind man he used to be
On a good night, if you can encourage him to laugh
I swear I can see kindness
That sweet boy with so much joy
And all the love he wanted to give
Now a twisted middle aged man
Living a stunted life filled with jealousy + rage
Consumed with the black beast of hate
Regrets have drowned him
Gasping for air
I still believe deep down
He still cares
Though His egomaniacal sickness
Is who stands his ground
Hard + cold stares
As his anger flares


~Divine

Misfortune claims a small part of you
Each time something slays you to the ground
That teeny tiny part lays down and dies
A slow agonizing death
But all that stops
As soon as you decide
This is not the conclusive ride
Change your mind
Apply your focus on the opposite
Watch every tiny step
Regardless of length of step
Evolve for the better

~Divine

Pain

Strands of thread frayed
Still evident around their wrists
Life has proceeded with another thrill
Rally varies per families played
Soul screeching screams
Causing spine chilling chills
If you think about it nightmares
Are a slightly different version of dreams
For many thrive to welcome the dark
The light for many who enact
Stark in its own vulgarity
Supposed to bring delight
For those dwelling in the black
Discomfort fright remains intact


~Divine

It's in the stillness of the night
Every sound is elevated
Particularly when you're situated
Between floating spirits
Feel the shiver up the spine
Gnawing in the stomach on the incline
Fear has entwined you in its clutches
Willing to settle for an incredible fight
Knowing that no one is the victor
Realizing what you thought you saw
Is not a definite
It's a might
Each sound has a squeaky effect
All the senses alert
Hearing noises within the walls
Hollow sounds echoing throughout
Understanding there's no way out
None
No way out

~Divine