CAMELOT FANTASIES

So what is your New Year resolution now that we are literally 3 days away from 2014? And also, what are your expectations?

I have set myself 5 goals so they are not necessarily 'resolutions'. Goals must be met, don't think resolutions work the same way. In any case, all my goals are a must do however, I haven't prioritized those. Mainly because they will take place in different parts of the year.

My exceptions are to meet all those goals I have set out for myself. No expectations from Andy. Anything he does will just be a bonus from this point on.

Looking back at 2013 now that it's almost behind us, I had a couple of downers - one lasted 2 days, and the second one lasted about 4/5 days. The first one had to do with Andy and his loss at USO. I took it hard. I remember after the match I went out to get some drinks and junk food, and it was a very beautiful bright sunny day and yet, I couldn't enjoy it and that made me even sadder. Couldn't believe for a moment or two that I cared so much - it just felt like a great loss. In the true sense however, I was okay with the loss so I let myself feel anyway I wanted to feel to deal with it, because I was still in control of my emotion.

In the second downer scenario, I was crushed. That happened actually very recently (nothing to do with forums or online or even relation stuff so don't get any ideas lol). I needed to nurture my spirit so I stayed home four straight days (took two days off following the weekend) without any direct communication to any other human being. It feels great to be that quiet and peaceful. I felt much better after those four days and was able to reconnect to the outer world again. But again, I was still in full control of my emotion as I knew this was a temporary situation. I just needed to deal with my emotion first that was constantly bringing me down. It needed specific and full attention. Once I gave it all that and nurtured it, it was fine - the little Me.

As to the highlight of the year, again Andy's win at Wimbledon first and foremost. Another highlight is the project I am currently working on. It caused me a lot of stress but it was well worth it.

I also held a couple of events to support United Way through work and raised a lot of money so that made me quite happy too.

I do feel 2014 will be just as stressful or maybe even more, but it will be well worth it, so I am preparing myself that way. I am not sure how much tennis I will actually be watching because of all the goals I have set for myself, but as long as I can be there for Andy during big matches, I should be happy. 2015 should really be the year of my freedom.

I also feel I am at a cross at this point of my life but I don't have any clear direction so I am unable to choose. I do think it will unfold as I move along and continue to make progress, so let's see.