CAMELOT FANTASIES

I actually forgot about Nole's match today. lol. I made some plans last night that I was going to be out all day mostly shopping and I went downstairs too, but in the elevator I realized that it's Good Friday and that most shops are closed today. Very disappointed. So change of plans again.

And surprised to see Nole down a set. He's however up break in the 3rd. Looks like Garcia-Lopez pushed him today...watching it since the last few games of the 2nd set. Not sure how Lopez played in the 1st set and if it was a combination of things rather than Lopez playing really well but in this 3rd set, he's simply keeping the ball in play. Nole is the aggressive one. 

Nole's now with 2 breaks and 3-0 up.

The reason I chose not to trust people is mainly because they are mostly driven by negative character traits (jealousy is one of them), so the element of breaking the trust will always be there. I love people and try my best not to judge them but trusting them is another matter. For example, herc and I are very good friends right now and I am one of his main admins etc. but if he, say, takes away my admin right or even ban me, I won't be surprised - at all. Anyway, when people are in love, they very rarely see the negative sides in each other (that's why love is so great in fact) but when it wears off and it does, that's only when they are more focused on the other things. I take it it's mostly because their needs are not being met regularly. After all, at the end of the of the day, it becomes all about 'me'.

Anyway, I am glad you are over it. It's good to have friends who tell the truth and are there by your side when you need them the most. And yes, perhaps it's best not to talk about it at all. Plenty fish in the water, they say!

Yes, it's hard to say no to older people. I have someone at work who's so sweet and such a great person, but every time I say I am craving something or that I am a bit hungry, she almost always offers me cookies (lolol) even when she herself never eats them.

I guess your mindset has changed in the meantime. Had the offer opened up at the time you'd wanted it, then perhaps you would have taken it. I read somewhere that it takes some time for certain wishes to come true as the nature too needs time to align those requests. Anyway, I am sure there will be many more offers in the future and this job does sound quite tough and rigid, so enjoy your summer instead!.

Yesterday I had a small relapse again. Was worried because I hadn't heard from him for a long time. Then we talked, I got some really good news from him. He is starting to work in October and before that he is going to visit his brother in the US for a couple of weeks. Great for him. We will see each other again next month, let's see what it will be like. I'm just trying to keep things normal. I have enough distraction now not to get too excited about it and wanting too much.

Yeah, I don't want to rush things with a new job. For now I will just continue being lazy, work whenever I have to and enjoy the weather which is hopefully getting warmer again soon. I need to pack for my trip next week and actually the crazy temperatures don't help me to decide what to pack. I bought so many lovely summer dresses and I think they need to stay at home... or I will just wear them with tights and a jacket.

Fortunately there will be no chocolate eggs for me this weekend. Also no chocolate bunnies. 

I have a lot of Buddha statues at home by the way. And I have a picture of Buddha on my wall. When I was in Japan for some time I got interested in Buddhism (although there are more Shintoists than Buddhists there), then in South Easter Asia my interest got even stronger. Ever since then I always look for something related to Buddha at shops or ask relatives to bring me something from their travels. My uncle's wife (well, my aunt, hahaha) is from Thailand and they live there 6 months of the year and the other 6 months they are in Europe. I sometimes ask them to bring me something although I don't really like the skinny Buddhas from Thailand. I like the fat and happy ones which they have in China and so on. Hahaha.

Yesterday I had a small relapse again. Was worried because I hadn't heard from him for a long time. Then we talked, I got some really good news from him. He is starting to work in October and before that he is going to visit his brother in the US for a couple of weeks. Great for him. We will see each other again next month, let's see what it will be like. I'm just trying to keep things normal. I have enough distraction now not to get too excited about it and wanting too much.

Yeah, I don't want to rush things with a new job. For now I will just continue being lazy, work whenever I have to and enjoy the weather which is hopefully getting warmer again soon. I need to pack for my trip next week and actually the crazy temperatures don't help me to decide what to pack. I bought so many lovely summer dresses and I think they need to stay at home... or I will just wear them with tights and a jacket.

Fortunately there will be no chocolate eggs for me this weekend. Also no chocolate bunnies. 

I have a lot of Buddha statues at home by the way. And I have a picture of Buddha on my wall. When I was in Japan for some time I got interested in Buddhism (although there are more Shintoists than Buddhists there), then in South Easter Asia my interest got even stronger. Ever since then I always look for something related to Buddha at shops or ask relatives to bring me something from their travels. My uncle's wife (well, my aunt, hahaha) is from Thailand and they live there 6 months of the year and the other 6 months they are in Europe. I sometimes ask them to bring me something although I don't really like the skinny Buddhas from Thailand. I like the fat and happy ones which they have in China and so on. Hahaha.

You are still very much in love with this guy, Nikki darling. haha. And you might as well admit it.

Anyway, your love story reminds me my very own that lasted about 8/9 years. It was very on and off and that's why the time frame was also this long. I fell deeply in love with him in 2000 and broke it off in 2008. He too toyed with me at first but once we started going out, things became more settled though long distance like yours, so it was more like either me going over there or him coming over here  etc. I really think if there was no distance between us then we would have lasted as a couple 4 years, tops. After I had the courage to break to off, I felt much better though I must have disappointed him a great deal. We still remained friends for a while, a year or so maybe, but after that I completely cut him off. I wanted to move on. He must have thought I was being fickle again and we were going through another on and off saga but that was really it for me. But the thing is, once I completely cut him off, that's also when I got over him completely. Just giving you a tip here in case you need it in the future. haha.

Take some of your summer dresses anyway. I would just wear a jeans jacket or sweater over it. Tights sound ideal too and don't forget to pack some scarves as well.

I am so glad that you like Buddha. And to pick it up at this early stage is also very cool. Did you know skinny Buddha did exist? When he left home at age 29, he went into starving mode at first because he thought if he suffered for a while, he might know all the answers he was looking for. But after a while, upon observation, he realized that was not the case as he was distracted and was unable to concentrate. So he then started accepting food from people and became the fat or chubby Buddha haha. But before that, he became as skinny as just skin and bones and remained that way for a considerable while. People who were aware of this guy under the tree would fear for his life but at the same time, they had enormous respect for him especially when they knew he was a Prince.

My Buddha is not very chubby btw haha but it's not intentional. I just liked this statue the best. I really love it. I find Buddha story and his teaching utterly fascinating. To leave the life of a Prince, who had never encountered poverty, sickness, old age etc. and to become the enlightened one was really something, especially when you realize this happened 2500 years or so ago. And not only he was filthy rich, he also had a beautiful wife with whom he was deeply in love with and an adorable newly born son and a doting father. He left all these behind just to find it out who he truly was and what was the meaning of life and the cause of all human sufferings, and eventually became one of the poorest men on earth, who'd then live the life of a very poor man for the rest of his life.

And once the Sages declared (this was based on his mother, the Queen's dream before she became pregnant with Buddha) before Gautama was born that he was either going to become a ruthless King or a Prophet, his father made sure that the latter never happens. And still, to his dismay, the Prince beat all odds and became the Buddha. I don't think it can get any more fascinating than this. I don't think there's a story out there that will ever beat this one, though I admit both Jesus and Mohammad's stories are also very intriguing.

Looks like the game to win RG is very much on - started by Rafael Nadal of course. Yesterday, after the loss of Nadal, Nole made himself look vulnerable by losing a set against Garcia-Lopez and today, he goes out to Federer in straight sets. Looks both players want to enter RG keeping a very low profile with the pressure putting on the other player's shoulder. Very good then. Let's see who wins RG.

evening emma.

strange final tomorrow. 2 guys who have done their best work on the hard courts are suddenly in the final of a masters event on clay.

and the clay court master is out on the street looking in.

well he did it to himself. he has nobody to blame but himself. he did not put in the time for the most vital and the most critical part of his season so its no wonder he has a price to pay for that.


at any rate looks like roger is finally going to get his hands on that elusive monte carlo crown. I cant see him losing to stan tomorrow.

evening emma.

strange final tomorrow. 2 guys who have done their best work on the hard courts are suddenly in the final of a masters event on clay.

and the clay court master is out on the street looking in.

well he did it to himself. he has nobody to blame but himself. he did not put in the time for the most vital and the most critical part of his season so its no wonder he has a price to pay for that.


at any rate looks like roger is finally going to get his hands on that elusive monte carlo crown. I cant see him losing to stan tomorrow.

It is indeed strange but you shouldn't really read much into this as you know it's quite highly coincidental that both would lose before the final and God knows I don't believe in coincidents. The real story will unfold at RG and you should wait for that. Both Nadal and Nole are super hungry for that and for different reasons. Monte Carlo means very little to them and it certainly isn't going to assure an RG win later even if they beat each other, if you know what I mean.

I don't personally see Monte Carlo as an elusive crown but it will be interesting to see if Stan is going to fold yet again to Federer or if he's going to convert it. He's done it once back in 2009 I think right here so it's not completely as given as it's made out to be, unless you think 2009 Stan was better than 2009 Federer.

Both are playing possum right now, Nole with this sudden wrist injury and Nadal lacking confidence etc., but rest assured, it will come down to these two players come RG and they will be playing it and won't lose it until one gets the better of the other. Of course someone might sneak in the meantime but this doesn't mean and won't mean that they are the best on clay right now.

you need to get married emma darling.

you should be on your 3rd marriage by now.

that is how they do it here in the west:

marry in haste and repeat at leisure.