Author Topic: A Day without Laughter is a Day Wasted (Read 9471 times)

Clay Death · « **Reply #15 on:** February 02, 2014, 07:45:01 pm »

jokes are good for health.

I bet somebody out there has done a study somewhere about jokes and health.

Emma · « **Reply #16 on:** February 02, 2014, 07:46:57 pm »

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"

Emma · « **Reply #17 on:** February 02, 2014, 07:49:16 pm »

Quote from: Clay Death on February 02, 2014, 07:29:42 pm

Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says. The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer says. The man writes out a check and starts to walk away. "Wait, sir," the loan officer says. "You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?" The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

Emma · « **Reply #18 on:** February 02, 2014, 07:53:07 pm »

Quote from: Clay Death on February 02, 2014, 07:45:01 pm

jokes are good for health.

I bet somebody out there has done a study somewhere about jokes and health.

I love funny people. I can't click with people who are too serious 24 hours a day. I love to laugh. It's a wonderful thing in life.

Clay Death · « **Reply #19 on:** February 02, 2014, 07:58:51 pm »

that is another reason why I have near zero use for all those forums out there.

all those toothless, legless, assless fools can think of is that bloody GOAT stuff and also who to insult and harass.

we are a breed apart.

we love our tennis but we take nothing too damn seriously.

and we have tons of diversions here.

Clay Death · « **Reply #20 on:** February 02, 2014, 07:59:11 pm »

A Cajun named, Jean Paul, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from
an old farmer named Ben for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the
donkey the next day.

The next day, Ben drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news.
The donkey died."
"Well, then, just give me the money back," said Jean Paul
"Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Replied Ben
"OK, then. Just unload the donkey," said Jean Paul.
"What ya going to do with him?" asked Ben.
"I'm going to raffle him off," said Jean Paul.
"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" uttered Ben.
"Sure can. Watch me. I just won't tell that he's dead," said Jean Paul.
A month later Ben met up with the Cajun and asked, "What happened
with that dead donkey?"
"I raffled him off, I did. I sold 500-hunderd tickets at two dollars apiece
and made a profit of $898," said Jean Paul.
"Didn't anyone complain?" inquired Ben.
"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back,” said Jean Paul.

Clay Death · « **Reply #21 on:** February 02, 2014, 08:01:07 pm »

A businessman, on his deathbed, called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.'"

Clay Death · « **Reply #22 on:** February 02, 2014, 08:02:05 pm »

A man walks pass a beggar on the corner of the street where he works. The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand. One day the man walks pass the beggar again and notices the beggar is holding hold out both his hands. He asks: “Why are you holding out both of your hands?” The beggar replied, "You see sir, business is going so well I decided to open another branch".

Clay Death · « **Reply #23 on:** February 02, 2014, 08:03:41 pm »

A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?"
"It was terrible," her husband said. "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."

Clay Death · « **Reply #24 on:** February 02, 2014, 08:05:02 pm »

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory everyday and learn the operation.”
The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.” “I see.” replied the father-in-law, “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.” “I hate office work,” said the son-in-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk.” “Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just made you half owner of a money-making industry, but you don’t like factories, and won’t work in an office. What am I going to do with you?” “Easy,” said the son-in-law. “Buy me out.”

Clay Death · « **Reply #25 on:** February 02, 2014, 08:06:44 pm »

Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business.
"I started a new practice last year," the first one said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months."
"Why in the world would you do that?" the other asked.
She responded, "It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without."

Clay Death · « **Reply #26 on:** February 02, 2014, 08:07:42 pm »

The income tax expert was visiting the school to talk about taxes. “I’m going to tell you now about “indirect” taxes. Can anybody tell me what an indirect tax is?”
“A dog license,” said Smart Josh.
“And why is that?” asked the expert.
“The dog doesn’t pay it,” replied Josh.

fancymeny · « **Reply #27 on:** February 02, 2014, 08:36:32 pm »

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''
The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

fancymeny · « **Reply #28 on:** February 02, 2014, 08:37:18 pm »

By the way...I enjoyed the jokes....I needed the laugh....thanks. Muah!

Clay Death · « **Reply #29 on:** February 02, 2014, 08:40:53 pm »

that was a rough one for that woman Carmen.

cool joke.

keep them coming if you have more.

also don't be shy. you have as much right to post anywhere as any of us.

Emma's café is one of the chit chat thread here.

as is "the truth's rant and rave" place.

we have chat threads all over the place.

feel free to post anywhere.

at Camelot, you are the boss.

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Author Topic: A Day without Laughter is a Day Wasted (Read 9471 times)

Clay Death

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Emma

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Emma

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Emma

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Clay Death

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Clay Death

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Clay Death

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Clay Death

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Clay Death

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fancymeny

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