CAMELOT FANTASIES

He always says that he isn't jealous in a normal relationship. According to him our relationship is quite special so he doesn't want to lose me. Hummm... oh well. I'm trying not too think about it too much. I had a conversation with a friend of mine yesterday who is going through exactly the same thing. I could give him lots of mature advice. I think I have really learned something from it.

Today it was a colleague's birthday so I had a bit of birthday cake. Already feeling bad about it but I will just skip my snacks today and I should be fine. Hahaha. I thought I could avert the problem by not joining the others in the kitchen while they were eating cake. Unfortunately the colleague brought me 2 small slices to choose from and I ate them both. 

Today I saw a job offer online which really interests me. The problem is that I would have to start working next month, the trial period is 6 months so I would have to stay at home the entire summer and I would only get 6 weeks of paid holidays each year. Hummm, since I don't want to ruin my summer, I will just keep on working here and try to keep my mouth shut about the job offer. I have been talking months about wanting to work there and complaining about no job offer showing up and - TA-DAAAA - today it showed up. It is better not to mention it to the people that I have been bugging with my constant "I WANT TO WORK THEEEEERE" talk.  Besides, the salary isn't that good.

They say actions speak louder than words. If he shows jealousy but then says something different, then I am not sure how much I want to trust him. For one, there's no direct evidence (for you anyway) that he isn't jealous in normal relationships. And I don't trust guys in general. Love them but don't trust them. It's a mistake to trust human beings though there's no other way to find out other than to put your trust in them first. If it's broken only then you know.

Whoever invented to celebrate one's birthday with cakes should be in hell forever. haha. Then again, it would have to be a sweet hell. Seriously, I think work places are horrible for consuming unwanted foods...especially when colleagues are so sweet to bring over pieces for you. When that happens to me, I always say, 'are you trying to make me fat, you devil?' Btw, you can also say, 'no, thank you, please. I am off sweet this month.' I mean come on. haha

You then must have created that job offer with your sub-conscious mind. Maybe you should just listen to your heart and see what it says. I always see two things when something pops up, my heart says one thing and my mind (my so called rational side) says another and I know which path to take right way - always the way of the heart. One can never go wrong with that. If I weigh in too much eventually all the negativity, doubt etc. they all creeps and eventually I don't get to follow my heart's calling, so I've learned since then.