CAMELOT FANTASIES

The reason I chose not to trust people is mainly because they are mostly driven by negative character traits (jealousy is one of them), so the element of breaking the trust will always be there. I love people and try my best not to judge them but trusting them is another matter. For example, herc and I are very good friends right now and I am one of his main admins etc. but if he, say, takes away my admin right or even ban me, I won't be surprised - at all. Anyway, when people are in love, they very rarely see the negative sides in each other (that's why love is so great in fact) but when it wears off and it does, that's only when they are more focused on the other things. I take it it's mostly because their needs are not being met regularly. After all, at the end of the of the day, it becomes all about 'me'.

Anyway, I am glad you are over it. It's good to have friends who tell the truth and are there by your side when you need them the most. And yes, perhaps it's best not to talk about it at all. Plenty fish in the water, they say!

Yes, it's hard to say no to older people. I have someone at work who's so sweet and such a great person, but every time I say I am craving something or that I am a bit hungry, she almost always offers me cookies (lolol) even when she herself never eats them.

I guess your mindset has changed in the meantime. Had the offer opened up at the time you'd wanted it, then perhaps you would have taken it. I read somewhere that it takes some time for certain wishes to come true as the nature too needs time to align those requests. Anyway, I am sure there will be many more offers in the future and this job does sound quite tough and rigid, so enjoy your summer instead!.

Yesterday I had a small relapse again. Was worried because I hadn't heard from him for a long time. Then we talked, I got some really good news from him. He is starting to work in October and before that he is going to visit his brother in the US for a couple of weeks. Great for him. We will see each other again next month, let's see what it will be like. I'm just trying to keep things normal. I have enough distraction now not to get too excited about it and wanting too much.

Yeah, I don't want to rush things with a new job. For now I will just continue being lazy, work whenever I have to and enjoy the weather which is hopefully getting warmer again soon. I need to pack for my trip next week and actually the crazy temperatures don't help me to decide what to pack. I bought so many lovely summer dresses and I think they need to stay at home... or I will just wear them with tights and a jacket.

Fortunately there will be no chocolate eggs for me this weekend. Also no chocolate bunnies. 

I have a lot of Buddha statues at home by the way. And I have a picture of Buddha on my wall. When I was in Japan for some time I got interested in Buddhism (although there are more Shintoists than Buddhists there), then in South Easter Asia my interest got even stronger. Ever since then I always look for something related to Buddha at shops or ask relatives to bring me something from their travels. My uncle's wife (well, my aunt, hahaha) is from Thailand and they live there 6 months of the year and the other 6 months they are in Europe. I sometimes ask them to bring me something although I don't really like the skinny Buddhas from Thailand. I like the fat and happy ones which they have in China and so on. Hahaha.