CAMELOT FANTASIES

Yesterday I had a small relapse again. Was worried because I hadn't heard from him for a long time. Then we talked, I got some really good news from him. He is starting to work in October and before that he is going to visit his brother in the US for a couple of weeks. Great for him. We will see each other again next month, let's see what it will be like. I'm just trying to keep things normal. I have enough distraction now not to get too excited about it and wanting too much.

Yeah, I don't want to rush things with a new job. For now I will just continue being lazy, work whenever I have to and enjoy the weather which is hopefully getting warmer again soon. I need to pack for my trip next week and actually the crazy temperatures don't help me to decide what to pack. I bought so many lovely summer dresses and I think they need to stay at home... or I will just wear them with tights and a jacket.

Fortunately there will be no chocolate eggs for me this weekend. Also no chocolate bunnies. 

I have a lot of Buddha statues at home by the way. And I have a picture of Buddha on my wall. When I was in Japan for some time I got interested in Buddhism (although there are more Shintoists than Buddhists there), then in South Easter Asia my interest got even stronger. Ever since then I always look for something related to Buddha at shops or ask relatives to bring me something from their travels. My uncle's wife (well, my aunt, hahaha) is from Thailand and they live there 6 months of the year and the other 6 months they are in Europe. I sometimes ask them to bring me something although I don't really like the skinny Buddhas from Thailand. I like the fat and happy ones which they have in China and so on. Hahaha.

You are still very much in love with this guy, Nikki darling. haha. And you might as well admit it.

Anyway, your love story reminds me my very own that lasted about 8/9 years. It was very on and off and that's why the time frame was also this long. I fell deeply in love with him in 2000 and broke it off in 2008. He too toyed with me at first but once we started going out, things became more settled though long distance like yours, so it was more like either me going over there or him coming over here  etc. I really think if there was no distance between us then we would have lasted as a couple 4 years, tops. After I had the courage to break to off, I felt much better though I must have disappointed him a great deal. We still remained friends for a while, a year or so maybe, but after that I completely cut him off. I wanted to move on. He must have thought I was being fickle again and we were going through another on and off saga but that was really it for me. But the thing is, once I completely cut him off, that's also when I got over him completely. Just giving you a tip here in case you need it in the future. haha.

Take some of your summer dresses anyway. I would just wear a jeans jacket or sweater over it. Tights sound ideal too and don't forget to pack some scarves as well.

I am so glad that you like Buddha. And to pick it up at this early stage is also very cool. Did you know skinny Buddha did exist? When he left home at age 29, he went into starving mode at first because he thought if he suffered for a while, he might know all the answers he was looking for. But after a while, upon observation, he realized that was not the case as he was distracted and was unable to concentrate. So he then started accepting food from people and became the fat or chubby Buddha haha. But before that, he became as skinny as just skin and bones and remained that way for a considerable while. People who were aware of this guy under the tree would fear for his life but at the same time, they had enormous respect for him especially when they knew he was a Prince.

My Buddha is not very chubby btw haha but it's not intentional. I just liked this statue the best. I really love it. I find Buddha story and his teaching utterly fascinating. To leave the life of a Prince, who had never encountered poverty, sickness, old age etc. and to become the enlightened one was really something, especially when you realize this happened 2500 years or so ago. And not only he was filthy rich, he also had a beautiful wife with whom he was deeply in love with and an adorable newly born son and a doting father. He left all these behind just to find it out who he truly was and what was the meaning of life and the cause of all human sufferings, and eventually became one of the poorest men on earth, who'd then live the life of a very poor man for the rest of his life.

And once the Sages declared (this was based on his mother, the Queen's dream before she became pregnant with Buddha) before Gautama was born that he was either going to become a ruthless King or a Prophet, his father made sure that the latter never happens. And still, to his dismay, the Prince beat all odds and became the Buddha. I don't think it can get any more fascinating than this. I don't think there's a story out there that will ever beat this one, though I admit both Jesus and Mohammad's stories are also very intriguing.