CAMELOT FANTASIES

Wow, that's really deep, Emma. I know exactly what you're describing here. I had the same experience as the guy in your lecture and I did make the choice, but it was fraught with difficulties. However, they were difficulties that purged me of previous ideas. Still, that feeling that you say have may stay in your mind for years, but now is not the time. When the time comes you won't be able to still that voice. It may come suddenly, but you when the actual time comes you will have peace.

I took it as a sign since I really had no reason to wake up just after an hour and half sleep in the middle of a night, and listen to that particular teacher which then led me to listen that particular line that then ended up alarming me. Anyway, I am not taking any drastic decisions of course but it does seem hints are being dropped every now and then. So that means if I don't do anything right now things will be forced to happen to me if it is meant to be that way. You know how people don't like sudden change since there are so many 'unknown' elements to it, even when they live in really tight circumstances and badly need a way out, but still somehow they are much more afraid of the 'change'. What's worse or perhaps not, is the fact that, my boss is forcing me to go for bigger things and frankly, not only I don't know if that's the way I should go since I am not really that ambitious but also, this means, I will have to cut down a lot of stuff that I love doing in my spare time including watching tennis of course, but I mean mostly the researches and study that I do to make myself become more aware or say, spiritual. I am definitely sitting on a fence right now and the feeling is not comfortable. But you maybe right as well, now may just not be the time.

Maybe I will just go with the flow and see what unfolds before my very eyes.