CAMELOT FANTASIES

Hello everyone.

I haven't really been in the mood to post lately. My dog died a while ago and it was really horrible for me. It all happened so quickly and unexpectedly.  I'm still not over it and I think I won't be the same for a while. Getting a new dog is out of question for me at the moment. I don't know where I will be in the next few years. Actually it was my dog which kept me from moving away for all these years. Now I have nothing holding me back anymore. I have my family and friends but they could come to visit me anywhere in the world.

I'm also very heart-broken at the moment. Actually I have been feeling like this for quite some time but always had something to keep my hope alive. Just at the moment I feel like this person is completely slipping away from me. It is a really long story and at the moment it is just driving me insane. If I could, I would spend all day in bed just crying and blaming myself.

Anyway, I'm off to keep myself busy with tennis, TV series and online shopping for make-up and other beauty items.
 

Oh Nikki, I am so sorry for your loss. I've never had a dog but I am perfectly aware of the relationship human beings can have with their pet animals and I know how devastating the loss can be when they pass away. And I love dogs too even though I never had one but this would be one of the reasons why I wouldn't want to have a dog. I get too attached to things I love. My deepest condolences. And yes, you really need to keep yourself busy doing the things you still love. I am sure there are lots of things to keep your mind distracted from both incidents.

I am sorry about the guy as well. Perhaps it's just not meant to be even though I am sure you thought it otherwise and it must feel like another loss, but hopefully in time you will find out. If you like, you can see this as something that was supposed to happen to you at this time and as a pain or suffering that has some great lessons within it. You know how they say when you are older you are wiser. What changes in between then? What makes them wiser? Only experience because experiences have many elements to it that makes you become aware of more things. So if it hurts I am sure it has something in it for you to take it away that will be beneficial for future relationships.

Anyway, if you feel like going away you totally should. Just follow your heart. I am sure your parents will understand. And yes, don't get another dog; not only you don't need a replacement but also you don't want to forget about your old dog that kept  you company all this time. I'd rather go through the sadness than to quickly replace it. Hope you feel better soon. (((hug)))