CAMELOT FANTASIES

CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.

 CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

 BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

 VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

 P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
 market keeps crashing.

 BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

 STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

 STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
 equally between themselves.

 FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

 MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

 CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

 YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

 WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought
 Yahoo @ $240 per share.

 INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

 PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.