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Author Topic: EquineAnn Center  (Read 66204 times)

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Re: EquineAnn Center
« Reply #135 on: July 26, 2022, 02:22:23 am »
This was my improved version of the poem.

Glasgow

The fog,
the smog.
The rain pouring down
like a river mucky brown.
Scotland's city number 2
smells of industrial chimney smoke through & through.
Clydesdale horses take people everywhere.
People wear Paisley print & tartan pretty & fair.
Chocolate teacakes are on the bill of fayre.
The sound of bagpipes fill the air.
Glasgow is the swan.
It is the ship sailing on the River Clyde like in days long-gone.
Glasgow is Scotland's industrial beating heart.
It is the hammer tearing its enemies apart.
People give you a welcoming handshake.
They are industrious & tough. They will not bend or break.
They welcome everyone there.
Glasgow is square.
It is a thistle in your side.
Glasgow sings the song of the Clyde.
People drink Irn bru,
refreshing for me & you.
People read the works of Sir Walter Scott.
Glasgow is all the pride we've got.
There are horse-drawn carriages taking ship-yard manager's to work.
Just because they're in charge doesn't mean they can shirk.
There are lots of B & B's.
There are Highland dancers dancing until they freeze.
Glasgow's foundation is a roundabout where life goes round & round each day.
People all go their own way.

I guess I should have written it in the past tense.


You’ve written it as your imagination beholds your attention.
Impressed that you’re allowing it.
Good one Lady Ann.
Thank you very much for sharing.
Thank you very much, Lady Divine. A lot of it would have been how Glasgow was. I had to put metaphors in there as we got told we had to use both metaphors & similes. The 1st version had to be more-or-less all metaphors & similes as well as imagery. We had to keep some metaphors in the 2nd version. I'm allowing it because I managed to get all the rhyme I wanted. I was impressed with the 2nd 1 except for the uneven line-lengths.

It’s great as is!
Line lengths are like thoughts, some longer others shorter.
Very happy you’re sharing!

 

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