CAMELOT FANTASIES

Self imposed steel cage
Bars of immense height
Dizzy looking up viewing it's expanse
Knots in my stomach
Infusing the snake of fear
Slithering & squeezing tight
Pacing throughout the expanse of the cell
Closing my eyes tightly
Trying with all my might
Preventing the tear
Don't want it to escape
Witness to my weakness
Something I refuse to dwell
If I do
I can feel the walls closing in
Constricting depth of my breathe
Difficulty swallowing
Heart beating rapidly
Intense need for vomiting

Too busy focusing on fear as an obsession
Pushing away from everyone's claim
Of love and protection
Feeling the scream gather momentum
The frog in my throat needs ejection
Listening to the growling yell
Echo through the walls
I turn to look in the mirror
Viewing my own hell
Dishevelled hair
Manic eyes
Only to realize
My biggest monster
Overtaking my life
Concluded I stand deluded for what
Is staring back at me
In my reflection
If I peer & take the chance to look closely
Monster inhabiting my core
Has vacated before
Returned with a vengeance
Like a wildfire burning up what's in store
Feeling my skin crawling
As though millions of tiny ants
Exploring each inch of my body
Scratching to make it stop
Make it stop this violent storm
Crying and screaming dervish
Whipping around like a typhoon
Letting it control me
Only to fall bent & broken
Unable to see
That key to unlock this hell
Is inside of me

~Divine