CAMELOT FANTASIES

I've been an outsider
All my life
Continual hiding
Constant strife
Maintaining a balance
Of caring and avoiding
Needing to please
Was far more disturbing
Wanting to fit in
Felt fake and cold
Discovering conformity
Was the abhorrent norm
Deluded trying to make it
My reality
A part of me was dying
A slow death
Fashioned myself
Like them
Hair, clothes considered
Plastic surgery
it wasn't the exterior I was evading
It was the passionate interior
The one that always differed
Spoke to Spirits
Heard them clearer
Saw them nearer
Than most on this plane
Relationships demanded I shut it down
I did for a while
Though it was a forced style
The headaches and migraines
We're debilitating
Denial had paid a high price
Breaking down my healthy stance
For that possible chance to fit in
Wisdom came in difficult lessons
Shedding all those forcible friends
Shattered pieces
Gathered and glued me back
To make a better whole
Connected to my soul
With a different course
Another purpose
Leaving behind the life I knew
For the unknown
Welcomed back by the intuitive world
That waited patiently
As I awoke from the nightmare
To their loving arms
Sixth and seventh senses
Alerting me to my life path
Of truth

I'm an outsider
I will never be like others
Weird and abnormal
Perfect in my imperfections


~Divine