CAMELOT FANTASIES

Walked through the austere hospital hallways
Last evening
Accompanying a friend in emergency
While waiting for the doctor to review the tests
An announcement over the P.A. System
Drew me back to that fateful night
Memories flooded back with an urgency
Shocked that I was numb to the tears
That streamed down my face
Transported to the difficult plight
My stomach dropped as though
I jumped out of a plane without a parachute
I spun for minutes
Dizzy recalling the visions of the CPR
Trying to revive you
First flatline

I thought I had come so far since your passing
Disappeared in a bathroom for a quick sob
Aware of the fright my friend was feeling
My heart hurt
Confused about this all the emotions reeling
Came across a nurse who cared for Dad
Then saw the Doctor that assisted Mom
Tears flooded surprised by my weakness

Breathe after deeper breathe
I composed my self not to alarm
My friend who required immediate attention
Luckily my friend was released
Once I arrived home
I just let the tears flow
Heart broken for my loved ones, deceased
Earth shattering with my emotional deviation
Only made me realize
My strong veneer my pain so sheer
Not sure why
Nothing is clear
I thought....
I'm still broken


~Divine